An Uninvited Guest: Recognizing the Eating Disorder That Followed Your College Student Home

Their suitcase hits the floor with a familiar thud — your college student is home for summer break. There’s the usual pile of laundry, a half-smile, and a casual “Hey.” But something feels different this time, though you can’t quite name it. They say they’re just tired. That college has been “a lot.” But at dinner, they barely touch their plate. Later that night, you hear their bedroom door click shut and lock, even though no one else is around. At first, you tell yourself not to worry. Maybe they’re adjusting. But deep down, something doesn’t sit right.

This summer, an eating disorder may have come home — quiet, uninvited, and nearly invisible.

At first, you might question your own instincts. You tell yourself they’re just tired, busy, or adjusting to life back at home. But then you notice small patterns — things they’re not saying or no longer doing — and a quiet worry begins to grow.

You’re not imagining it. Eating disorders rarely announce themselves — they slip in unnoticed, often wearing the mask of control, perfectionism, or wellness. Here are some of the most common early signs to watch for, especially when your college student returns home.

Signs of an Eating Disorder in College Students

If you’re noticing changes in your college student’s behavior or physical appearance, it’s important to pay attention. While every person’s struggle with an eating disorder is different, there are some common warning signs that many parents start to notice in their child when something’s not quite right.

1. Skipping Meals or Eating in Secret

It’s natural for students to become busier or eat on the go, especially when adjusting to life away from home. But if you start to notice your child skipping meals, avoiding family dinners or going out to eating with friends, or eating alone and out of sight, it could be a red flag. Secretive eating is often a way of hiding disordered eating habits, such as purging, bingeing, or restrictive eating.

2. Unusual Focus on Weight and Appearance

Many young adults are conscious about how they look, but an excessive preoccupation with weight, calories, and body image may signal deeper concerns. If your child is constantly weighing themselves, talking about dieting, exercising to change their body, or measuring their body, it’s worth noting. Negative self-talk and self-criticism can also be signs of an eating disorder.

3. Significant Changes in Eating Patterns

Whether it’s cutting out entire food groups, obsessively counting calories, or making strange rules around food (like only eating at specific times or in specific quantities), drastic changes in eating habits can be a sign of attempt of control over food.

4. Physical Symptoms and Weight Changes

Sudden weight loss or gain or extreme weight fluctuations are worth investigating. If your child’s weight seems to be changing quickly without explanation, it could indicate an eating disorder. Physical signs may also include headaches, dizziness, hair thinning, fatigue, stomach issues, or swollen parotid glands.

5. Emotional Withdrawal and Isolation

Eating disorders often thrive in isolation. If your child is distancing themselves emotionally, withdrawing from social activities, or becoming unusually secretive about their life, it may be a sign of emotional distress linked to their eating habits. Increased anxiety, depression, or irritability around food or meal times can also be warning signs.

Why Early Intervention Matters

If you’ve noticed warning signs of an eating disorder in your child, it’s normal to feel uncertain about what to do next. You may wonder if it’s just a phase or if you’re overreacting. But the truth is, early intervention is crucial. The sooner you address the issue, the better the chances are for your child’s recovery.

Left unchecked, eating disorders can have serious, long-term effects on physical health, emotional well-being, and relationships. The longer disordered eating patterns continue, the more difficult it can become to break the cycle. Research shows that early intervention leads to an increased chance of full recovery.

1. Preventing Long-Term Health Consequences

Eating disorders can lead to serious physical health issues, including malnutrition, electrolyte imbalances, and organ damage. In extreme cases, they can even be life-threatening. When you intervene early, you reduce the risk of these severe consequences by helping your child regain healthy eating habits and rebuild their physical health.

2. Minimizing the Impact on Relationships

Eating disorders not only affect the person struggling but also take a toll on family dynamics and friendships. Left unaddressed, these struggles can cause emotional distance and tension. Early intervention can prevent further strain, allowing your family to support your child’s recovery together.

3. Supporting Your Child’s Mental Health and Future Well-Being

By intervening early, you provide your child with the tools they need to develop a healthy relationship with food and body image. The earlier you seek help, the better your child’s chances for long-term recovery, and the greater the opportunity to prevent the disorder from dictating their future.

4. How to Get Help — and Be a Supportive Parent

You're Not Alone: Support, Treatment, and What You Can Do

If you’ve recognized the signs of an eating disorder in your college student, found this blog on the internet, and are ready to take action, you’re already making important steps toward supporting their recovery. But knowing where to turn for help can feel daunting. The good news is that there are many resources available, and you don’t have to navigate this alone.

1. Start by Having a Compassionate Conversation

Before seeking help, try to have an open and honest conversation with your child. It’s natural to feel nervous or unsure of how to approach the subject, but approaching the conversation with love, empathy, and without judgment is key. Let your child know that you’ve noticed some changes and are concerned about their well-being. Reassure them that you’re there to support them no matter what, and that it’s okay to ask for help. Know that eating disorders are no one’s fault. Your child did not choose to have an eating disorder and they are likely as scared as you.

Here are a few tips for that conversation:

·       Share what you notice with kindness and express your concern: Use “I” statements (e.g., “I’ve noticed that you’re not eating as much, and I’m worried about you.”).

·       Listen and be curious: Allow them to speak openly about how they’re feeling and what they’re experiencing.

·       Show your child that you will support them: Share that you love them and will make sure they are able to live a full life unbothered from their current concerns.

2. Seek Specialized Professional Support

Recovery often requires a specialized team: a therapist, a medical doctor, and sometimes a dietitian or psychiatrist. That might sound overwhelming, especially if you’re just starting to process your concerns. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to build that team on your own.

Start by connecting with one provider who specializes in eating disorders. From there, they can help guide you in building the right support network for your young adult.

Many parents notice signs long before their child is ready to talk. That’s common—and it doesn’t mean you can’t take action. Denial, fear, and shame often show up first, especially in college-age kids who are trying to maintain control and independence.

It’s okay to reach out even if your child isn’t open to therapy yet. You can begin with a consultation just for you.

We can help you:

·       Understand what you’re seeing and what it might mean

·       Learn how to talk with your child in a way that builds trust, not walls

·       Create a clear, compassionate plan—so you're not navigating this alone

Start with a conversation. You don’t need to have all the answers to take the first step.

3. Be Patient and Continue to Offer Your Support

Recovery is not a linear process, and it often takes time. Your child may not immediately embrace the help they need or may experience setbacks along the way. Patience and unconditional love are crucial during this time. Continue offering support, even if it feels difficult or discouraging at times. There is hope for recovery, and with support, you can help your child get there.